Today’s schedule is completely messed up.  It started when I woke up at 4 AM.  I was almost back to sleep when our Yellow Lab, Sofie, started squeaking.  She has a lot of aches and pains at her age, and sometimes she needs her morning pills a bit earlier.  Apparently today was one of those days.  I went downstairs and came back up with her medications.  Then I sat with her until she fell back asleep; I figure a good snuggle helps anyone when they are not at their best.

I believe in the power of a good, early morning, but 4 AM stretches my limits.  I crawled back into bed about five minutes before my husband’s alarm started going off about 5 AM—which is when I normally get up to start the day.

The day’s schedule was already completely off.  It’s also Monday, one of those days to take our daughter to school—and then figure out what to do.  I have about seventy minutes before she’s done with her first block (the only one in-person on Mondays).  It “saves” me the thirty minutes of driving home and back.  But it sure messes with getting into a rhythm. 

I used the time to run through the grocery store, which meant when I got home, I couldn’t just jump into the office.  I had to put away the food.

I don’t like changing my schedule so much.  I end up feeling frustrated.  Lazy.  Off-kilter. 

Ready for the funny thing?  Here I am, at the end of the day, looking for a silver lining… when I realize that COVID has brought me yet one more completely unexpected gift:  I am learning to relinquish control. 

Note that I don’t say I “have learned.”  Nope.  That may come… yet. But for now, I must honestly state that I am still easily thrown.  I won’t lie and say I’m heading out of my office with that warm glow of a god day’s work done, a belly full of accomplishment. 

For me to be able to see that this forced “giving up” is good for me, that “giving into” the day and “going with it”, that this was how today went, and I couldn’t do anything more about it?  That’s definitely a silver lining.